10 May 2007

Dear Paris

Dear Paris.
You broke the law. In fact, you broke the law more than once. You are rich enough to afford a driver or even a flippin' taxi cab, and yet you chose to drive drunk. You could have injured someone, but do you care?

Please stop flappin' your lips about how unfair this all is. Perhaps the sentence was severe. Still, you broke the law. You blame it on your publicist, which, last I checked you were an adult, so should know the rules yourself. You ask Ahnold to pardon you, which, bitch please. He has bigger concerns than a celebutante having to go to the slammer.

Suck it up, be a woman and face the music. As the saying goes, you did the crime, now do the time. I am tired of your ilk being subject to different rules than the rest of us. I see DUI after DUI, and very few repercussions.

And, be glad. This will hopefully snap your parents out of the fog they've obviously been in. did they teach you it was okay to drink and drive? Did they not show you how to dial a phone and call a cab? If not, they failed. (and, as a note...I am older than you, and if I got a DUI even now, you bet your ass my parents would head over here, take my car and be eternally disappointed in me, which is worse than jail)

Anyway, just shut up. Go to jail. And, learn something from this. Namely, that a cab ride costs less than a bottle of Cristal.

Hearts and Kisses,

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