22 September 2010

Time Passes

It's been a month since my world was completely turned upside down. I'd like to think things are getting better -- I know someday they will -- but right now, that's just not happening...and with birthdays, holidays, and family events coming up...well, I imagine it's all just going to suck.

But I will say I've learned a lot over these last four weeks, not that I ever really wanted to...in talking with my friend who also had a terrible loss earlier this summer, I am finding that how I am feeling is not all that different from other people going through something similar.

Friends - I have the best friends. I really do.

Reaching out - The one thing that has really helped in coping with all this has been people reaching out to me. This was probably the biggest shock to me...I am pretty used to being quiet and alone. Whether it's a call, email, text, whatever...just hearing from people, without me reaching out to them, makes things feel a little better. And with that...there are people I wish I could reach out to, that I'd really like to talk to. But, really, I'm having a hard time with that. So hopefully I'll hear from them soon, but I can't express how much gratitude I have for all the support I've been given. Amazing, really.

Ask Me - This one surprised me, too. I need to talk. I need to tell people what a great and funny guy my dad was, and what happened to him. Some people are hesitant to ask how he passed away, I know I was in the past, too, but I've found that it helps immensely to let people know.

Tell Me - I want to hear stories about my dad. Many of my friends hadn't had the chance to meet my him, which makes me sad, they really would have liked him, but a few have said really nice things based on their experiences at his services. I am surprised, pleasantly, with how much these things help.

I have been really humbled, really, by all the support I've received over this past month, some from very surprising places. I am ever so grateful for all of it. I've learned so much, unfortunately the hard way, but it is one positive to come out of the experience. People have such a capacity to amaze...

(these beautiful flowers arrived at my work the other day, sent by my most awesome former teammates on the Boozehounds. It was such a sweet surprise, and...well...no words...)

1 comment:

Pernilla said...

LOts of hugs!!!! I am glad to hear they take care of you over there. I wish Icould have flewn (flown?) over and just been there, annoying you a little bit.

I THINK OF YOU SO MUCH. And I really do wish I had gotten the chance to meet your dad, I always knew he was a nice guy. I figured it out.