13 January 2007

High Maintenance


I am watching the craziest show...it is called High Maintenance 90210, and man, these people are batsh*t crazy.

Yes, I watch really crappy TV. Name a crappy show, and there is a high likelihood that I watch it. (on the flip, don't ask me if I watch supposedly quality shows like Lost or 24, I don't) So this show is about a personal assistant agency that caters to the very rich folk. And, also, apparently these people have to be quirky as all get out.

My favorite story from this week involves a 27-year old butler. First, who knew anyone other than old men studied to be butlers. Second, this poor kid's family is totally anti-him becoming a butler. Third, they send him on three interviews, each which get weirder and weirder.

The first is with some guy whose estate is called "River House" or something. He is a middle aged gay man, who has a little hot boy toy as his "personal assistant." He needs butler to do all the things the toy can't, like give him a massage. Toy is supposedly straight, but he strikes me as that type that uses his looks and sex to get ahead, regardless of the sex of the person he is talking to.

The next is some psychic woman, with a fugly Fabio look alike hubby. She just gets a big w.h.a.t.e.v.e.r. But by far the strangest is the last guy, Norwood. He has 20 David (as in the Michelangelo statue) replicas in the front of his house. When you walk in, you are greeted by a huge painting... of the guy. (who is creepy like Michael Jackson) He sits the butler down in his living room on this short couch, while he sits on a high throne chair. And, he busts out two dogs (maybe bichons or mini poodles or something) who are DYED BLUE AND PINK.

What the ?!

To top it off, when you walk outside, he's got a huge pool...with his picture painted on the bottom. I have no idea who this guy is, other than addicted to plastic surgery, but it is nasty. The butler kid is so straight edged, I don't know how he will fit into any of these places (when asked what he would wear to a ghetto party, and the butler kid says, "a zoot suit?"). So of course, he picks the weirdest of them all, Norwood. Go figure.

This should make for some awesome TV. These E! shows are crazy addicting.

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